Most of my life I've been told I'm "Really nice" or even "too nice". Well, I'd have to agree. Recently I discovered a bunch of free ebooks on Amazon. One titled "Smart women know when to say no" has really hit home with me. In my previous post Sociopaths, I recognized that I am attracted to the wrong kind of men and I never understood why. This book explains that it is because I am a pleaser. I am the peace keeper and prefer to avoid conflict and keep others happy at the cost of my own. I have never really found a relationship that I've been truly happy with and the more I read this book, the more it make sense why.
The book goes on to explain that it is my relationship with my father that is the root of my wanting to please. It explains that I am a super-suffering pleaser and need professional help. Well, no one wants to admit that they need help like that, but with what I've been through, I wouldn't be surprised. What's stopping me? The price tag. I have never been this poor in my life. However, I am in the path of the right direction. I will be finished with massage school February of next year. Until then, this self help book is supposed to help me towards becoming a pleasant pleaser, which is a woman who is pleasant but knows how to be confident without being cocky, assertive without being abrasive, and self-nurturing without being selfish.
As I continue my journey towards enlightenment (I'm studying a lot of Tao and Buddhist texts as well as part of my interest in Eastern medicine), I find that I need to heal the mind, body, and soul.